Courage and Self-Confidence Building

The preoccupation with children's safety  has changed childhood. Now a counter-move is arising based on the statistics that today's parenting is doing more harm than good.

Imagine a playground with filthy mattresses, piles of used tires, and mud! Would you allow your child to play here? Probably not. These playgrounds became popular in the UK in the 1940's as a what  Lady Marjory Allen called "asphalt square" playgrounds.  She wanted to encourage "free and permissive atmosphere with as little adult supervision as possible.. She believed  that kids  should face "really dangerous risks" and then conquer them alone. How much time does your child spend unsupervised?  This is what builds self-confidence and courage.

It's hard to believe that parenting norms have shifted so much in one generation.  Today, third graders walking to school alone and  playing ball in the street are unheard of in my neighborhood. Parents sit at the corner of my street and wait --- in their cars ----  for the school bus to come, pick up the kids,  and deliver them  to the school less located less than half a mile away! Absurd. In 1971, 80% of third graders walked  to school alone. By 1990, that figure dropped to 10%. Now it's even lower. 

We have gone too far, says Joe Frost. "Reasonable risks are essential for children's healthy development." We are saying that our kids are unintelligent or too fragile to asses the risk of any given situation. We are raising kids to be fearful and with increased levels of psychology. Peter Gray, A Boston College professor wrote The Play Deficit and  attributes the millennials' list of ills including depression, narcissism and a decline in empathy, as a result of the lost of the old childhood culture. The percentage of college aged kids taking psychiatric meds has spiked.

Remember you can not create the perfect environment nor can you create the perfect child. Crime rates are NOT higher today than they were a generation ago except for child abduction by a family member possibly to to the high rate of divorce.

So encourage active independent play in your child. Remember your childhood?